STOP HURTING ME is a National and International ONE STOP RESOURCE SITE that provides unique services for domestic violence victims and helps those who typically fall between the cracks of domestic violence services. The information we provide is for (but not limited to) Victims of Bullying, Child Abuse , Domestic Violence, Cyber Attacks on Children along with HATE CRIMES.
Our organization views domestic violence as a human rights issue. If you are in an abusive relationship, these links and services should be available to you regardless of gender, sexuality, or age. We work with different types of issues for individuals that face the hidden abuse
We promote an One Stop Resource Website necessary for all victims and make accountability for all perpetrators.
Through our website, media, and programs, we inform the public on what to do if they become a victim.
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The Broad Scope of Domestic Violence
According to the United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women, the term “violence against women” can refer to “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.” This violence includes, among other things, “physical, sexual and psychological violence occurring in the family and in the general community, including battering, sexual abuse of female children, dowry-related violence, marital rape, female genital mutilation and other traditional practices harmful to women.”
According to a study directed by Richard J. Gelles at the University of Rhode Island, U.S.A., the following are risk indicators for physical and emotional abuse in the domestic setting:
1. The man has previous involvement with domestic violence.
2. He is out of work.
3. He uses illegal drugs at least once a year.
4. When he lived at home, he saw his father hit his mother.
5. The couple are not married; they cohabit.
6. If employed, he has a low-paying job.
7. He did not graduate from high school.
8. He is between 18 and 30 years of age.
9. One or both use violence toward children in the home.
10. Income is below the poverty level.
11. The man and woman are from different cultural backgrounds.
Domestic violence can seriously affect children
If Your Child Is Abused
TO STOP abuse, you must know it when you see it. In the numerous books on the subject, experts have listed dozens of telltale signs of abuse that parents can watch for. These include: complaints of pain while urinating or defecating, genital infections, abrasions or lesions in the genital area, the sudden onset of bed-wetting, appetite loss or other eating problems, precocious sexual behavior, a sudden fear of such places as school or parts of the house, periods of panic, an extreme fear of undressing, a fear of being alone with a familiar person, and self-mutilation.
However, be careful about jumping to conclusions. Most of these symptoms do not by themselves necessarily mean that a child has actually been sexually abused. Each could indicate some other problem. But if you see disturbing symptoms, gently broach the subject, perhaps with such a statement as: “If anyone ever touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, I want you to know that you can always tell me, and I’ll do all I can to protect you. Has anything like that ever happened to you?”
If your child discloses sexual abuse, you will no doubt feel shattered. But remember: Your reaction will play a major role in the child’s recovery. Your child has been carrying an unbearable burden and needs you, with all your adult strength, to lift it from her or his shoulders. Praise the child for being so brave as to tell you what happened. Repeatedly reassure the child that you will do your best to provide protection; that the abuse was the abuser’s fault, not the child’s; that the child is not “bad”; that you love the child.
Some legal experts advise reporting the abuse to the authorities as soon as possible. In some lands the legal system may require this. But in other places the legal system may offer little hope of successful prosecution.
What, though, when the abuser is one’s own beloved mate? Sad to say, many women fail to take decisive action. To be sure, it is never easy to face the ugly reality of a mate who is a child abuser. Emotional ties, and even financial dependency, can be overwhelmingly strong. The wronged wife may also realize that taking action could cost her husband his family, his job, his reputation. * The hard truth is, though, that he may just be reaping what he has sown.
Innocent children, on the other hand, stand to lose much more if they are not believed and protected. Their whole future is at stake. They do not have the resources that adults have. Trauma can scar and shape them adversely for life. They are the ones who need and deserve tender treatment.—
Parents must therefore make every reasonable effort to protect their children! Many responsible parents choose to seek out professional help for an abused child. Just as you would with a medical doctor, make sure that any such professional will respect your views. Help your child rebuild his or her shattered self-esteem through a steady outpouring of parental love.
We acknowledge that many men are also victims of violence. But studies indicate that women are more likely to sustain injuries that are far more serious. Hence, these articles discuss abuse in which the victim is female.
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